Seeking - Him

I'm a christian who is sure of my salvation. How to figure out what my gifts are, now that's another story. Once they are known how to use them to the best of my ability. Then thers's that little problem of being afraid. What if I don't do it right? Don't know a whole lot about the Bible. But continue to learn. Attend a wonderful womens bible study group. Through which I've grown. You know two steps forward, ten back. the devil never seems to relinquish his control over me. Praying helps, but continuously falling back upon my old ways. Relying on the Lord is my main focus but at times it's so hazy. When will my lesson of leaning on him be an atomatic response? I know I'm a work in progress, but this is going to be a looong one.