Somewhere over the Rainbow.

Catchy isn't it? Wonder where I ever came up with an idea like that for a title? Couldn't be because I watched the TV to much. Naw banish that thought. I haven't the slightest idea what I'm going to say now. Better think fast of something really good. Let's see where to begin. I'd really like to soar far over the rainbow to where Jesus is waiting for me. In time this will happen. For now the rainbow is something so beautiful, breathtaking. Just knowing God created the rainbow, and it's array of colors. How did he think of so many wonderful things for our eyes to behold? How can I question that he loves me, or why he'd love me? He's done a multitude of wonderous things throughout the Bible. Miraculous, awe inspiring, things that no-one else can do, or has done. But yet I still question my very exsistance. Wondering what it is that He has in store for me, or for what purpose I'm here.
I struggle daily with the idea of trying to relate to others about God! How do I start? I don't want to let him down. What if I say the wrong thing? Can't I just do it by showing them my good side? Alot of questions huh. By the way what is my good side?
When I look into the sky after the rain and see the rainbow, I'm mystified by the beauty. It's nice to know that the earth will never be destroyed by flood again. At least I think that's what the rainbow stands for. But don't quote me on that. Especially since I'm kinda afraid of the water. Who I'm I kidding I'm down right terrified of water. Since I swim like a rock, I'll stick to dry land. Thank-you very much. At the end of the rainbow the irish think there's a pot of Gold. I'd prefer to say at the end of the rainbow is where God can be found. It's not to say he can't be found other places. Because he's in everything. But there at the end of the rainbow you know all things are possible through God and with God. He took time to give people a sign, of his total love for us through his creation. Who else would know what colors to use for this thing of beauty. Not I! Good thing God's in control. Who knows what colors I'd picked. Colors let's see! Pink and purple, orange, yellow, and let's not forget blue. Doesn't that just conger up a beautiful rainbow. Pretty awesome right? Well it's colorful , just like all of us. None of us are the same, react the same ,think the same. Thank goodness cause one of me running around is enough. Each rainbow is different never the same. The colors remain the same, and the direction it archs. But the scenery behind and around it are ever changing. Hey just had a thought! Amazing isn't it I had a thought. That's a first.Just like our walk with Jesus is ever changing and being refined. He shapes us into what he wants us to be. Despite what we think is better and try to help him along.
So than why Am I trying so hard to not have to share my faith? It's because I'm not letting Jesus control me. I still have a control issue. I know give it up already, I'll never be able to do anything unless I let him lead my life in the little things. Than the bigger ones will fall into place. Sounds easy huh! But I'll probably question my abilities he given me along the way. And make lots of mistakes, but that's okay I'm a work in progress. Thank goodness he isn't done with me yet. And that he is so patient with, even in my moments of despair and hopelessness.
So somewhere over the rainbow birds do fly. Because their father loves them, protects them. And joy abounds forever. Well I'm now done rambling. If any of this makes any sense it'll be a miracle. God Bless You ALL. May your rainbows shine bright for all to see. You'll know mine by it's colors. HA! HA!

Just Pondering

A feeling of deep despair comes over me everytime, I do the same thing over and over. Lately I've found myself so full of anger. Saying words that I had prayed so hard not to say. And the Lord had helped me. Now everytime I'm bumped what's in my heart slops out. It's so awful, and ungodly. I'm letting him down. He's been there for me always. Now when things are rough and tough. I show anger mostly at myself. And a terrrible array of nasty words. I know some of this comes from being around people who are constantly using these words. This is no excuse. How could I who say I love my God say these things. What's wrong with me? Praying eases the guilt. The answers are slow in coming. So than I think God has let me down. Wrong again! I let him down. So I'm pondering why , it's so hard just to get it straight, and rely on him. Cause I want things in my time not his. This is hard to tell and put on paper. To let everyone know, that I have problems. But it's not about me, but him. And I so want to please my God. And be a shining light so others want to know what's different about me. This won't happen until the Lord helps me , so I'll continue to pray,wait for his help. Not many read these but it helps me to put it down in writing. Praise God for his Love.And all knowing ways.

Well Can't Believe It's 2007

Well here it is 2007 . And I've accomplished nothing. Good thing I made no new years resolutions. That way their will be no way I will fail. HA!HA! I praise theLord for being so faithful to me in 2006. Although I fell way short of what was expected of me by me. You know I'm my own worst critic. So I never really quite measure up. But God knows my limits and gently nudges me to go ahead and try. Sometime I don't want to try. But as my very wonderful friend Tami always says" it's not about you!" At times the green eyed monster of feeling sorry for myself gets the better of me. If it wasn't for the Bible Study group and all the good discussions it would be a lost cause, for my soul.
This past year has been full of learning experiences. That God loves me no matter what size I am. And if He loves, then why don't I love me? After all God made us in his likeness, so if I don't like me, Am I telling God I don't like him. Also learned it's not about me, it's about him. A very hard lesson to learn. Cause there are times I'd like to be the center of it all. It's amazing how the Lord has brought so many wonder people into my life. And brings me closer day by day. Thanks be to his wonderful love. 2007 will be an awesome year to learn more about my GOD.